10/29/07
Eva. Isabella Omariba
“Woe to him that is alone when he falleth: for he hath not another to help him up”
(Ecclesiastes 4:10)
Today, in our world, many are the people who are fallen; and sadly there is no one to pick
them up because we have become lone human beings. Unfortunately even Christians whoare part of the same body, the body of Christ, and so should never be lonely, they too arefallen prey of loneliness. And friends that is bad news. But thanks be to God for He hasthe antidote-the principals of the word of God, which when acknowledged and obeyed
will completely deliver us the bondage of loneliness.
A life consistently lived on the principals of the word of God will be foreign toloneliness, and for a life that is bound by loneliness can by submitting to the principals ofthe word of God find freedom and fulfillment and become foreign to loneliness, too. Nomatter your state of life, worker, husband, wife, child, leader-God has provided for youprincipals in his word that guarantee a happy and fulfilling life here on earth. All youneed is to learn the principals and obey them.
Loneliness is the absence of a meaningful and healthy personal interaction with another
human being. The first thing that God said was not good is loneliness … And the LORD
God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for
him (Genesis 2:18.) Herein the Maker reveals to us just how profound and basic and
fundamental is the need of a human being to live in the company of fellow human beings.
And when this need is not adequately met then loneliness (separateness) sets in, and, as
sure is the rising and setting of the sun, so does overcoming separateness becomes the
greatest need of man, which he is willing to do anything or go to any length to meet it.
Our modern life and the demands it imposes on us has slowly but surely transformed the
world into a community in which people are lonesome together. We live in large cities,
always thronged by multitudes but lonely still. We are so busy making a living, tending
to the outside that we have forgotten to live, to tend to the within. As a result when our
nature comes knocking we have not the answer and so improvise-find alternatives no
matter the cost. And technology wittingly or unwittingly has exacerbated it. Mother
Teresa of Calcutta, India, said “Loneliness is the most terrible type of poverty.” If that is
true, then Americans are among the most impoverished people on earth, and the rest of
the world is not so far behind either. Bringing this to a personal level, how about you?
Do you feel no one really cares about you? That no one really understands you? Are you
lonely?
The need to overcome loneliness in and of itself is not adverse when fulfilled the way the
Maker prescribed. For Adam, the Maker provided Eve. The two made up a family, the
unit upon which community and society are built upon and in which the need to
overcome loneliness can be adequately met when each of the two parties is obeying the
Maker. For believers marriage is a life long covenant, a secure haven for all levels of
our being, spiritual and physical; where we know and are known, and there is no fear at
all. A place where each party is cherished and celebrated, completely accepted. The
maker invokes the marriage simile to describe the intimacy between Christ and His bride(Ephesians 5:24-26) How He must cherish marriage!
However that is not the case today. Marriage has degenerated to a contractual relation
with emphasis on the dissolution clause. Christian husbands and wives are obedient to dothe things God has said in his word that husband and wife must do to enhance their
marriage relationship. They are not fellowshipping; they do not pray together and neitherfor each other; they are not spending any meaningful time together; they do not celebrateeach other; simply put, husbands and wives are lonely, which mitigates against the verypurpose of marriage- a unit in which our very basic and fundamental need to ridloneliness is met! So the dissolution clause is invoked-the result is generation with thehighest divorce rate in all recorded history.
Granted imperfectness of human nature, successful marriage has to be deliberately built.Two humans pledging to always do and doing whatever it takes to make their covenant tolast every day of their life. Today such an effort is easily sabotaged by technology. Wewould rather spend all the time watching television, passing time in fantasy world insteadof spending the time with our mate in the real world. Televisions have found way to ourbedrooms, so a couple will be bed watching TV, and not even acknowledge each other!
Or turn to the Internet. Today its common place for one spouse to spend sleepless nights
alone in bed, while the other spouse is chatting away on the Internet.Children, the offspring of the marriage covenant, cannot escape the effects of adegenerated marriage. The need to overcome loneliness is not met and so they too are lonely. Effects of unmet need to overcome loneliness is more severe in children because they are underdeveloped and ill equipped to healthily cope , and sometimes will blame themselves for what is wrong in the family. God meant the need to overcome loneliness in children to be met within the family unit-father and mother. Unfortunately today parents do not have time for their children, they are not involved in the childrens lives. It is well known that there are parents who have no idea of what is going on in the lives of their children. The children can not pursue extracurricular activities they like the most just because the parent’s schedule cannot accommodate it.
It so sad that traditional dinner table time has disappeared from many homes. Normal regular cooked hot meals that brought families together are slowly disappearing from homes. Loneliness in children leads to poor performance in school work and lack of focus on the right things. Sooner or later they will start to seek attention from wrong places.
People in Church are lonely, too. Their need to overcome loneliness is unmet. We meet,
worship and then leave-strangers in strangers out. Have you ever bothered to introduce
yourself to a stranger worshiper? Find out how they are doing? Have you ever taken a
moment or two after the powerful sermon to listen to a stranger relate how God has been
good to them? Of course, no! We have not the time nor the patience, so we are
convinced. We are just a bunch of anonymous worshipers. This should never be the
case. Jesus is a personal Saviour to each one of us, that in itself should make us want to
know each other; for we have the same savior and share the same hope!
The effects of unmet need to overcome loneliness are devastating and tragic. Lonely
people develop destructive behaviors, attempting to meet the need in ungodly manner.
People will turn to drugs, gangs, partying, promiscuity, violence, arrogance and
selfishness consciously or unconsciously to overcome loneliness. We are all aware of the
inevitable end of such attempts: tragedy. Suicide is becoming a major cause of death in
the world, and when all the other related factors are added in, the unmet need to
overcome loneliness becomes the leading cause of death in the world! But thanks be to God- because of his love, and mercy and grace He has provided us a
way out of this bondage-if only we will learn and obey him.
The Bible says: “In the lastdays perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous without natural affection, truce breakerstraitorslovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away” (2 Timothy 3:1-10.) This passage of Scripture is an apt prophecy of our lonely time and explains the effects of the greatest unmet need of man and why so many people are lonely:
(1) Lovers of their own selves: You cannot develop a meaningful close relationship with
another person when you have a supreme love for yourself. The Bible says, “A man that
hath friends must shew himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). You have to become
friendly, courteous, understanding and patient with the folk and that in itself will draw
other people to you.
(2)Covetous: When money is all your life is about, its inevitable that your life will be
like old Scrooge, the selfish and miserly protagonist of Charles Dickens, without a real
friend in the world. Money is important but its not everything. Extricate yourself from
this modern line of thinking that equates possession to life. Life is of essence, to be lived
with people, and so plan your work schedule having family, church and friends as
priority.
To be continued….
Until next week, I pray that you will allow God to invade your being and shine His light
on your loneliness and its destructive effects, and that you will be obedient to Him as he
begins to lead you out of its bondage.
I am here to minister, be a blessing to you in any way the Lord opens: by prayer, counselling and
answering any questions you may have. I can also come to minister in your church, mininstry, and bible
study group at your house-Call(408-)677-4996 to make plans or send email to
isabella@vesselforhonor.org Take a moment to visit my ministry website www.vesselforhonor.org